Apparently no one on the FDA has had a fresh sockeye -- wild caught, bled on ice and delivered to market with craft and care -- or their taste buds are so deadened from years of convincing themselves ketchup is a vegtable, that they honestly cannot taste the difference between a real fish, and a slow witted, glassy-eyed "Atlantic" salmon with a bit of Chinook and eel pout thrown in for good measure.

photo: wild BC salmon fry and parasites. www.adopt-a-fry.org

Fred's ability to transorm the now ubiquitous iPhone and attendant bad typing into a fine instrument resonating verse and questionable imagery, is stunning. This latest is another installation in the spirit of Haig-Brown, Timothy Leary and Roland Martin.

Heavy action was going down at the casting ponds. Although there was a fair amount of talk among the anarchists about goldfish and/or RC hydroplanes released into the tank, nothing quite this exciting materialized.

In a frenzied barrage of last-minute lobbying, attempted influence peddling and baldfaced pleading which would make an SEC football booster blush and an Oscar-nominee recoil, we are pleased to announce this month's SMOTM winner.

It takes a lot of cojones and an equal amount of house scotch to begin holding court on your "life fish" the size of a baby carrot.

Photo: Jeff Warr gets intimate with his Smoky Mts. smolt

While the White House throws back Gulf popcorn shrimp and BP assures all the clean up is in hand and most of the oil has -- like magic -- disappeared, federal scientists paint a different picture.

photo: of Jimmy Bay, LA by Cesar Hada and Hunter Daniel of the Lousiana Bucket Brigade.

Many factors are taken into naming a winner: ferociousness of the quarry, line class, size of fly compared to said smolt, and enthusiasm on the part of the sportsman/woman all contribute to the hallowed title of Smolt of the Month. It ain't easy.

Photo: John Magnuson and a "goldie" taken from a MN drainage pond on a #14 pupae pattern. White body/green head, in case you're wondering.