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The Bass List
- A trout can eat a mouse; a bass can eat a baby mallard
- If you hold a bass by the bottom lip and look straight down into his maw, you can pretend that you’ve just caught a small tarpon.
- I can have bass conversations with most of my neighbors.
- Kick boats have small carbon footprints.
- You’ll need a really big squeeze pump to find out what a bass has been eating.
- Bass flies and 12-pound leaders work well for those with sausage fingers and failing eyesight.
- I once sat through a green light during rush hour because there were dragonflies the size of grackles landing on the pond next to the intersection.
- On bass days I feed out of quick stops and drive-through windows.
- There are lots of words used to describe the way a bass eats a fly. “Sip” is not one of them.
- The closest bonefish to my house is 1,000 miles, but I’ve got bass within 100 yards.
- If you get really good at bass fishing you can win lots of money, but then you’ll be answering to folks that have likely never been off pavement.
- I know a guy who once joined a country club just for the fishing.