Being a guide is a bit like being a cheap call girl. The shop or outfitter is your pimp and they get a significant portion of the action. It’s an unholy union, but a necessary one, and how else are you going to get the massive quantity of bugs it takes to get through a season? I know I don’t want the hassle. One day, we cranked through seven-dozen flies, and there was whiskey involved. Another problem with working through a shop is that you have to play by the rules, something I’m not fond of. As regulations go freedom dies. It’s an annual event for me to hang out for the day and annoy the shop manager by telling him all the things he could be doing better. Generally, it falls on deaf ears, but makes me feel cleansed. I do it in the spring, because I don’t have the energy to bitch as much during high season. When you hire a guide, remember we don’t make much dinero, so tip well. It helps more than you know. Guides, at least the good ones, do what they do because they’re not qualified for any other line of work. All of us, especially the fly shops, want to see the good girls stay on the water.

Live from the World Headquarters
Kea C. Hause esq.