Fred’s F@#%ing Cold iHaiku (and iHaiku Contest)

Tailgaters will recall back last July, we introduced pescadore compadre Fred, with a brilliant and primal bit of inspired writing which we took the liberty of labeling “iHaiku”. Fred was on a soul-cleansing trip to Montana in search of pristine alpine lakes, small streams and willing brook trout. Fred found RV hell, overbooked campgrounds and biblical levels of swarming insects (the biting, not hatching, kind). Fred has the digit dexterity of a Wookie and his emails tend to reflect this.

Thus, the basic tabula rasa formula for iHaikus was born: they must be short, they must be disjointed and they must be based on moments of utter frustration, joy or intense physical discomfort. Or they can be anything else. Mostly they must be inadervtent.

It was a delight to find Fred had returned to his writing this last week when we received the latest iHaiku in his series, inspired by our recent temperatures and activity, et al. We have titled it:

F@#%ing Cold

“F@#%ing cold” and steelhead fishing is what drives the Bonefish
dream I think. I might try tomorrow for something or just stand in
the cold till I can’t feel my fingers – easier, cheaper and about the same likelihood of getting a steelhead as near as I can figure.

Stunning Fredrick, simply stunning. In a nod to March doldrums, brown water and the pithy words of Fred, we are going to run a flashmob style iHaiku contest right here, right now. Best entry gets an FFJ “Steel Your Face” shirt, sticker and current issue.

Send your best iHaiku to us at questions@theflyfishjournal.com, ideally along with an image (300K or less) by March 31. Notable entries will be posted as will the winner, here.

Go deep; way deep.


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