Troutaholics Anonymous

There were cars in the yard when Fast Eddie and I pulled up. In the living room, perched on sofas and chairs like they were waiting for a Christmas card photo, were my wife and her extended family.

“You’re a day late,” Doris said.

“I hope you haven’t all been sitting here since yesterday.”

“Yesterday was your nephew’s bar mitzvah,” said Gordy, my brother-in-law.

“You’re Jewish?”

“You’d know,” spat Doris, “if you spent more than Thanksgiving and Christmas with my family!”

Fast Eddie plopped into the only unoccupied chair in the room as if he was settling in to watch the Olympics. “If your family is Jewish, why do you spend Christmas together?”

“I think it might be better if you left, whoever you are,” Gordy said…

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